Eternal Lies 29: Daniel Does Interviews

0:00 Daniel's Dread Tales is a show for grown-ups. It may contain adult language and adult themes. Please check the episode description for content warnings. Last time on Eternal lies. What's more, fleeing a scene of unspeakable chaos and bloodshed, our investigators find themselves in Merida on the Yucatan Peninsula, hoping to work their way up to a weapon capable of harming the gods themselves. Kearns starts off by acquiring a Tommy gun, while the rest do some light research on the area. While some possibility remains that this is as much of A wild goose chase as Brooks Male suggested, the investigators soon find themselves on the receiving end of an invitation to meet a Mr. Francisco de la Vega, land magnate and potential lead.

0:44 The die is cast. The pact is sealed. May God have mercy on our souls. It's Daniel's Tread tales. No. Can no. You're thinking of Cancun. Cancun is the dance with the skirts. They. They skied off off dive off the CN Tower. It's pretty funny anyway that they run an extension cord from it to the ground. So yeah, should we smash putt to the three of us getting back to the hotel?

1:30 I I was just thinking it's a natural starting point. Yeah, yeah. Because then it brings us all back together. And we can talk about our, our, our fun times. Yeah. And and Kearns is very, very bad time. Well, you also have a sticky book now too. Yeah. Yeah, that's also a bad time. What? Sticky book. Bad time. But what bad time? No it it's all good. I'm fine. Totally fine. Just like lighting 1 smoke off of another. Oh God, ashtray is full.

2:11 I've had those days. It's all good. It's all good. Probably nothing. Hey Frank, check out my wet book. No, don't look at the wet book. It's fucked up. What? I'm just showing it, you don't have to read it. OK, where'd you get that? A creepy old man traded me a radio for it. You had a radio. Yeah, I used it to listen to Dick Tracy, right? And also the news on occasion. Right, I remember that. Cool. And we've been invited to a dinner party. Have we? Yeah, yes. I don't know if it's a dinner party so much as it's a dinner.

2:54 Yeah, I mean, anywhere the four of us go is a party by the sheer nature of the fact that there's four of us. Hey GB, can I can I talk to you for a minute? Yeah, sure. What's up, man? In private. Yeah, Yeah, we can. We can take this to a different room. Yeah, Let's talk. What do you think they're talking about in there Smalls? I guess, I guess we won't know that's not where the the bike has gone, so we just have no idea what's going on in there. Don't you dare rob this a lot. Rob us from. This So we've established that this is basically a cheap hotel. Is there a cheap dive bar in this cheap hotel? Sure why there is whatever there needs to be. Yeah, I think Smalls is going to fade into having a drink at the bar after the revelations and what happened to him after skimming that.

4:01 Book and you know everything else, but specifically skimming the book. Yeah, that, well, that was kind of the tipping point, yeah. All right, I think you are served a drink. Anything else from that or just you're going to be getting no, you're going to drink because you lost your pillar of sanity. He he, he's just kind of going out of scene for for a minute, OK, it's just out of focus. He's done. Doesn't have anything specific going on. Cool. OK, I guess it's just Colin now. Oh, he's done. Well, guess I'm just talking to myself over here. I'm not Russell. You want to do a scene with me specifically? I just don't have anything to do so or anything that I specifically want to do.

4:51 I think it's both of these things. Colin is talking to you before realizing you're gone, but also Colin's. It want stability so it goes on a little longer than it should. How are you want stability already? That was so fast. We haven't even done anything dangerous yet. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah, that's what they would say if they were here right now, but. We're not. But we're not. So this is Nathan the player being confused. OK. I I think the microphone will now move towards the small room where you guys are talking. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, are you literally putting us in the closet?

5:33 Well, I mean, the rooms here are not very nice. They're not much bigger than a closet, but. Yeah. Kearns has a broom stuck in his back the entire time. So I How are you doing? You know, any urges, any weird dreams, withdrawal symptoms, anything. Not yet. None since Mexico City. Yeah, I'm all right right now. You definitely still want to take some nectar.

6:15 There's no nectar around here, so you can't. But this is not something that goes away. A nectar craving will never go away. Keeping that to myself though, what about? What about? Is this honesty? OK, yeah, you see right the fuck through me. But before you can ask follow up questions, JB is like how about how about you man? You seem a little distracted. I look, I don't I don't know what happened today. I am no shrink. Could be my guilty conscience, could be the lack of sleep, could be, could be all those steroids that I have taken to get this incredibly buff.

6:56 But I saw something today and this apparition was K. Oh my God. She, she was, she was there one moment and gone the next. And while she was here, she was, she told me his gaze is upon him now in Malta. She told me a little bit about this gazer thing. She explained the story, the fairy tale, and I think she was talking about you. Now.

7:42 You haven't taken any nectar since Mexico, no? Correct. None. Let's try to keep it that way. Yeah, yeah. Thankfully it doesn't seem like it's spread to this area yet and none of us have any on us anymore. So. And I'm I'm. I'm just sort of stuck with it because I don't know how to get rid of it properly. Yeah, that's fair enough. Just. Throw it into the jungle, drop it out the plane anyway. No, I'm not going. Into your mouth, JB. Yeah, eat it.

8:23 Don't put it in your mouth. That's a bad plan for many reasons. Anyway, we were having a moment. Yeah, let's. Yeah, but let's just keep it that way. Yeah. Again, I it's not that I don't trust you, but I've seen what that shit does. Yeah, yeah, I have every intention of never touching that stuff again, if at all. Possible. No. Right, you've done. I suddenly become aware that we are in a very small closet. Again, it is. It's not really a closet, but yeah, yeah, no, we are.

9:08 JB suddenly is like, is this a should I? No, probably not. This is not a good. Moment. OK, 10 minutes later, yeah. 10 minutes later, we emerge from the closet. JVI adjusts his shirt a little and brushes his hair out of his eyes. Anyway, yeah, good talk, Kearns. I'm gonna. Kearns's fly is fully down. OK, good talk. Let's let's convene with everyone and maybe go to a dinner party. Cullen meets Smalls in the bar eventually.

9:51 Like only half that conversation was to the sound of Colin Muffles talking to himself outside. Jesus, first time with one of these weird books, eh? I had heard some stories from an old acquaintance about things like this. It it was always something unreal. Well, I'm finding more and more with this case, the unreal stuff is the stuff that'll hurt you the most. That is surprisingly profound. Yeah. I get that a lot.

10:34 I meant for Colin. Francisco de la Vega's Manor is on the north side of town. It is a sizable mansion. It's a neoclassical architecture and as you arrive you are greeted by the owner of the house himself stepping forward. Francisco de la Vega is a How would I describe him? Frank Lupitas from Lost. As I may have mentioned before, I've not watched Lost so I don't know for sure, but he's like movie star level handsome. He's in a nice tailored suit. He wears a pink rose on the left breast of his white silk shirt.

11:19 He's got a very classical old fashioned sort of haircut and he seems very relaxed. In fact, when you see him, even though he's standing outside and walking to greet you, he has a Brandy snifter in his right hand that he's swirling gently. Jesus Christ. You must be the ones that I've heard about. Come in, come in. Well, probably, though I hope not. Oh no, no, no, no, no. I too too be clear my friend, If you don't mind me calling you my friend. I am everyone's friend. I just understand that you were asking about archaeological matters and I am a bit of an expert in these sort of things and I want to make sure that you are safe. But these are not the conversations for outside. Come in, come inside, come inside. Before we go in, can I use sense trouble here? I was actually going to say assess honesty. Like how are his vibes?

12:16 So sense trouble is a thing that I call for. I will say like something is sneaking around you sense trouble. So you do not just use the sense trouble thing, I'll just let you know that. I yes I am aware of that, but like I am also very paranoid. Yeah, I like, assess honesty. How are this man's vibes? He seems to be extremely friendly, and he seems to be. At least you detect no lies at the moment. He seems to be eager to talk to somebody who knows about archaeology. Oh boy, here we go. I know a bit about archaeology. Yeah, I oh, OK. I I took it as part of my level up.

12:56 He gives you a he gives you a grin, sort of lifts up his very well polished and slender mustache. Now I know that you are from the States, but I assume you are not opposed to a drink. Let's see, what do we have any gestures for one of his servants to come up? We could get you your orders. We have several kinds of beers. We have tequila, anything, anything that you would like to drink, I suppose. We also have water. I know that you Americans may not want to be drinking, right? It's so legal up there, isn't it? That's what I've heard, just a water for me. Water as well. OK, that's fine.

13:38 OK. What about you? He gives like a sort of playful punch on your arm. Kerns, you seem like you could put a few down, no? He's put a lot down recently. He has put more down than you can possibly fathom. I loom nothing for me. Thanks. Doesn't agree with my medication. Of course, as you are walking through, you see that there are what appear to be artifacts around. There's like a rusty helmet, a decorative sword, some stone fragments here and there. There seems to be that sort of thing. And as you're walking by them, he he takes a moment to walk a little slowly to see if you will ask him about them.

14:27 But it's not going to be offended if you don't ask about them, if that makes sense. With my archaeology knowledge, do these look authentic or do they look like replica? They look authentic, especially a couple of Mayan stone fragments. Those look like all of this looks authentic. That's like definitely styled in the helmet and sword look like they are from Spanish conquistadors. Several of the Mayan stone fragments look like they are from actual Mayan sites throughout the Yucatan. So yeah, I'm going to focus a little bit more intently on one of the stone fragments and kind of make it obvious. Impressive, don't you think? It is. If you don't mind me asking, where did you happen upon this? Well, very interesting.

15:14 You see, most of them are just laying on the ground these days. I have quite a bit of land and I send my people in there and they find these things. They've fallen off the walls or broken off the adornments from the harsh weather over the years, so I bring them in here, their will, to the Museum of Anthropology. But I keep them for now. They're definitely a boon to anyone's personal collection. I see you take quite good care of. Yes. It's great to see as a as somebody who appreciates some of the ancient artifacts that can be found. From my understanding, these are not ancient per SE. They are, I mean, they are not modern. They are, they are very old, but they were around when my ancestors, well my Spanish ancestors, first roamed this continent.

16:11 This sword right here belonged to the conquistador Francisco de la Bella Cazar, for whom I am named and related to. That is also a very nice piece and I bet carries a very storied history. Well, my ancestor moved here from Cuba and befriended, one might say conquered, associated with the local Mayan people. Let's just say I am proud to have both Spanish and Mayan blood in my history. Oh, this guy sucks. This guy sucks. No, he's, he's glad that he's proud of his heritage.

16:53 He's got his. He's got our effects for both of his heritage. He leads you into the large dining room where grilled chicken and vegetable platters have been. Well, not platters, but plates have been set up for you already. It looks very well made. There are waters around actually. Did you all order? I think you all ordered JB. Did you order? Who didn't order? I feel like I got 3 orders. Smalls. Smalls didn't. I didn't. Yeah, I didn't get offered anything. Do you happen to have Brandy? It's not my particular favorite, but we might have something in the the cellar. Lupe, let's see if you could find my friend. I'm sorry I didn't catch your name. We can discuss that in a moment.

17:38 Get my friend the the professor. Are you a professor? You're very knowledgeable. Can find some Brandy for him if you would. Doctor Smalls. Doctor Smalls. Ah, nice to meet you. I I suppose. I know this is a very awkward sort of thing for me to invite you here without even really knowing your names, but as I mentioned, my name is Francisco de la Vega. I've met Doctor Smalls here. That's a doctor in what? Doctor in psychology, actually. Oh, the human mind is a fascinating thing, my friend. And you, Sir? He's gesturing towards. JBJB Falk. I'm a writer and Ioffer him to a handshake. He gives you an enthusiastic handshake. A writer.

18:26 Anything I would have read. You don't strike me as the murder mystery type, unfortunately. Oh no, not really. That seems all too dreadful for me. Shame JB does not like this guy. JB does not like this guy at all. You'll have to tell me the name. You'll have to tell me the name of your books, though. I'm always looking to read something new. Is it in I suppose it's in English, right. I I can read that. Oh, yes. So thank you. Thank you very much. Take your seat. Take your seat. And you, Sir, with that, I'm sorry to say it the the one arm. Trips Daily photographer. Mr. Daly. Nice to meet you, Mr. Daly.

19:06 I should have said my name was my was Greg Bojones. I, I, I, I'm sorry to, to bring up the arm. I just, I don't know if it's one of those things that we should like be dancing around. I figure just be direct and say, hey, I've noticed you don't have an arm. That's fine. Do you need like any sort of like special silverware or anything with that? Oh, am I being patronizing? I hope I'm not. Nah, I should probably get a hook it sometime. OK, OK, excellent, excellent. Got a hook around a. Hook. We could find a hook of some sort. Do you need? Does it? Do you have something that it attaches to? Nah, I can figure it out. Okay. Duct tape is not a thing yet, Russell. I decisively approve of you capital F fucking with this guy. As Lupe comes back with the Brandy for Doctor Smalls, he says Lupe, a bit of an odd request. Could you get a hook for Mr.

20:07 Daly here? A hook. They they chattel it. Yes, a hook. Get him a hook. The man needs a hook. Sorry. Lupe's. Lupe's really the best. I'm sure she'll find something. All right, good luck. She does not look as confident as he does. I believe in Lupe. OK, finally. And you Sir, what? What was your name? Is it Hercules? Close. It's Steve. I'm not sure how that's close. Is that a? Is that a pun I don't get? It makes more sense in English.

20:47 I speak no, maybe I don't speak English as well as I think I do. Yeah, Steve cut the Crappington. Why are we here? Well, I appreciate your directness. I understand that. I heard you mention Chichin Juul Juul, and I want to tell you two things about it. One, it's just a few crumbled walls and an old well, I'm afraid there's very little reason for you to be visiting there. But two, it would be very dangerous for you to visit there, I think. Do you know that an expedition recently left to go visit that site and never returned? How recently I.

21:33 Think it was 2 weeks ago they arrived or well they left anyway. They came to me and asked me for permission to travel on my lands. I think I assumed you would do eventually. Well, we just got into that, but we're actually. Associating. Yes, I understand. Yes. You just came into town. Yes. So I, I wanted to give you some advice that that land is not completely safe. It exists outside the bounds of our civilized society. You understand now I do own the land. I do my best to keep it safe. But once you get further and further out, there are bandits and they've been known to rob and I'm sorry to say, kill particularly white folks such as yourself who visit the area. So that's the main thing I wanted to say. Now I know you may be set on visiting this place, in which case I understand, but I just wanted to caution you against it.

22:39 Well, you see, that previous expedition is actually the one we were supposed to be with. We're hoping to catch up with them, but things took a little longer than it planned. Really. You were with the other expedition. Yep, I guess they figured they could get on without their photographer, psychologist and book writer. Crazy, I know. Yes, well, I'm sorry to say that they have disappeared into the jungle. I do hope that they come out, but I do not believe that they will. Well, as harrowing as you make it sound, we're sort of obligated to catch up with them. I understand your friends may have already been killed by bandits, but I understand.

23:23 I understand. When he says I don't believe they will, does it says honesty tell me anything? In general, this guy is withholding some information from you. That's about all you're getting. OK, so let me see if I understand correctly. You're just a benevolent well wisher who invited us to their house just to caution US against going into the jungle. Mostly yes. Well, Sir, this could have been a telegram. Why are we actually here? Mr. Kearns, I understand your skepticism at the moment. Mr. de la Vega, we definitely appreciate the warning that you are giving and as they are your lands, we will be seeking your approval to access. Is there anything more that you can tell us about the bandits in this area?

24:18 As it is your land you you may not be able to completely stop them, but I'm I'm sure you would be able to assist us as you are concerned, at least nominally with our safety. My friend, I am concerned with everyone's safety, not just nominally. Now I will say this, the previous expedition, your friends with the Dominguez I believe was his name. They also refused my advice, although they did take my advice when I recommended them a guide. That guide is no longer around, but perhaps I could direct you to a proper guide to help you find the right way through the jungle. That is about all I could say, because there are things of the jungle that are dangerous besides armed men. The armed men are perhaps the most dangerous, but you know, there are wild animals, sinkholes, quicksand. Yes, I I do definitely understand that now we have actually been looking into some potential guides, however is there anywhere that you could suggest we could go to better outfit ourselves for the journey? Lupe is taking a while with that hook. Yeah, Lupe has not found the fucking hook. I was all for a fucking with de la Vega, but now I feel bad that we've tasked Lupe with this

25:48 bullshit. Yeah, she's outside having a smoke break. She knows she's not going to find anything. I'm going to ask you guys this. So this conversation is going on. Are you trying to make him believe like truly, are you trying to make him believe that you are with the other expedition? Or are you just saying that knowing he's not going to believe you? Well, I think Colin is trying to give that impression, but I'm not sure about the rest of us. OK. Giving the impression that which impression that you? Actually were with the. That you were with the other group, OK. Yeah, Smalls is going along with that. OK, I'm going to ask you to spend a number of points that you would like to spend to convince De la Vega, because right now, without spending any points, he's going to think you are lying to him because you are lying to him. And he is a 100 cents on a state. Yeah.

26:45 Oh, that's fair. So. Is there a threshold we need to meet or are we guessing a number? One point or two points your call about how many you would like to spend. I'll give two points of reassurance. I'm willing to spend a point as well if it can be split up between both of us. That way we only have to spend 1 each. All right. OK. So I'm just getting like the vibe of the conversation, whether it's believing you or not. I also would suggest that you get one of the local guides to assist you. I know you don't necessarily know the region that this is in, unless did your previous expedition give you a map of sorts? Not so much start to get the feeling we were less valuable members of staff.

27:36 There was some pranks involved. You know. Yeah, that Dominguez. Quite the joker. Yes, he did seem to imply that he his but compatriots within his organization were disorganized. It's OK, you can say incompetent, we've heard it before. Hell, we've said it before. Yeah, so I suppose you would have poor things to say about this, Mr. Brooks. You wouldn't we all start laughing. Color stops himself and just nods stoically. I mean, I'm I don't laugh. I I only laugh when I'm losing my shit. So at. The very least JB is definitely laughing. Francisco sort of joints in the laughter as everybody is laughing.

28:19 What are we laughing about? I grin crookedly. I would recommend that you find Pablo Garza. He is the best guide now to help you find what you're looking for. The best thing that I would say for you, though, you know, speak to those guys that are around, but do avoid that Rick Luke fellow. He's an American who's come into town recently. He has no idea what he's talking about. Also, he has two first names. Doesn't seem right. Sounds like a villain for some reason. I don't know anything about that. He's eager, he's a capable enough fellow, but he doesn't know the jungles very well. That's honesty.

29:03 He does not think Rick Luke is competent. Fair enough. But the description I don't either. Yeah. OK. Just new in town. You don't want that from a guide, right? Yeah. Exactly. After that sort of chat, unless there's anything else that we want to talk about the expedition, he does sort of turn the conversation back to just sort of archaeology, small talk, things like that. We were on an archaeological dig in What was it, Ethiopia a while back. Found some interesting things. You know, I don't really know a lot about archaeology outside of Mesoamerica, particularly the Mayans, though I've learned a thing or two about the Aztecs as well, a little further up in Mexico.

29:47 What did you find in Ethiopia? From what I understand, the Italians have been finding interesting things there recently. Oh geez. Wow. Well, ancient cultures. Fragments of things better off lost, truly. There are many such things in this world. But do tell me, have you, have you been to Ethiopia? Have you had some some adventures in the desert? Tell me all about it. I do so in extremely broad strokes. Do you mention like for instance fighting the bandits on the train? Yes, big time. OK. I think I show him the bullet hole. Yeah, when he's that is truly dreadful.

30:29 I'm so glad that you're OK. Is that is that what happened to your arm? Oh no, that was a different thing. That was. A. It was in Ethiopia though. To be perfectly frank, I don't know if I need to hear that part of the story. Well, suffice it to say, it went bad. On yeah, sounds like. It I mean point of order, I think it went as good as it could have. But the arm went bad in the most literal way. Part of me wants to describe the act of cutting off his arm in his graphic detail as possible just to fuck with Vega, but I don't think I'm going to do that but know that I'm seriously considering it.

31:14 Okay. I think maybe I spot your your trademark I'm about to fuck with you face and I'm mouth don't. Yeah, hey everyone, we here at Daniel's Dread Tails have a Patreon now. It's got multiple tiers and everything. Even our lowest tier, Resident of the Forbidden Zone, get you access to GM notes and unreleased content. It's good stuff. The next one up, Resident of New Hell Mouth adds shout outs on the show, the ability to name characters, raw mixes of the new episodes and our behind the scenes Discord channel. And finally, the highest tier Angry Clockwork Wife lets you join in on our monthly streams and be introduced as an Angry Clockwork Wife if that's what you're into.

32:02 So please, if any of that sounds appealing to you, then join up. We'd love to have you and your money too much. Fair enough. All the same, do consider. Thanks for listening and back to the show. Hey there listeners, did you turn in for a 24 hour lecture live stream last year? If not, here's just a few of the things you may have missed. Speculate this event was a shared hallucination brought on by sleep deprivation. So if you'd like to see more of that and also help some kids out at the same time, TuneIn starting April 17th. Watch the discord and or the show notes for more details. Lupe has brought a hook. It clearly is something maybe meant more for gardening or actually no used to like hang up a plant from like a wall or something but.

32:48 Is it a fucking coat hanger? It is not a coat hanger. It's like a plant hook. It's like a like a metal fig used to hang up a plant on a that's that's or something. That's just as funny, though. Yeah, it's also not what you want at all. Well, I don't think you really wanted a hook at all. Right now I've got nothing, so it's probably better. Yes, arguable. Thank you very much, Lupe. Isn't she the best great girl? Oh fantastic. However much he's paying Lupe, it's not enough. Is she keeping a straight face? Yeah, she's, you know, it's part of the job, man. It seems like he has weirdos in all the time and sometimes asks for odd things. Yeah, the reason this took so long is because they gave out the good.

33:37 I will note while he is drinking a little bit, he is not like getting sloshed or anything. He's just, you know, he's got maybe a little bit of a buzz, but he does, he is not drinking to excess or anything like that. I get. You well, I suppose that's that you do have my permission that I, I grant it to you, he says. He sort of raises his arms and like waves them around in like some sort of mock ceremony as he says this. And it just been a pleasure meeting you, fascinating stories about Ethiopia. When you get back from your trip, which again, I do caution you, there's really no reason to do it. But if you insist on going on this trip, you'll have to come back and tell me what you've seen out there.

34:22 Oh, absolutely. Although I hope you find something interesting again, it's not a lot, just some crumbled walls and cenote. Well, maybe Timmy's done that well. I don't know if that reference makes sense yet. I don't get what you're saying but OK. American humor. Don't worry about it. Well I will say this, I hope no one comes looking for your expedition in the future. As do I. Goodbye everybody, continues standing around awkwardly. So can we leave? Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, of course this conversation is happening like as you're walking.

35:02 Out. Yeah, Time to time to Skidoo. Does not knock over your artifacts in the hall on the way out. Yeah. Yeah, I think when I realized that there's going to be no goons jumping out at us and we're we can actually leave, I'm just going to awkwardly point at the shelf full of curious and say cool sword. Yes, it is rather cool. This guy seems like he is a generous, maybe a little naive, plutocrat. Yeah, I've I'm out of things to say to this guy. Let's let's Yeah, I think we just. You know, the guy trying to live his best life regardless of anybody else.

35:51 OK, let's go find this Garza fella. Yeah, so I'm going to tell you this. There are three possible guides that you could hire to take you through the jungle. One is Pablo Garza, another one is Guillermo Castillo and the third one is Rick Luke. Yeah, I don't think we should go to Rick Luke for this. Well, maybe we should talk to him. This is me personally. I also don't trust someone who has more than one first name in their name. Yes, JB's name is John Beatrice Falk. Don't worry about it. The secret revealed at last.

36:33 His last name is Luke. He just says 2 first names. Just one of them is his last name. Yeah, and, and JB's middle name is also a first name. But you know, also, I swear I've said my full name on this show at least once. Not, not that I recall, no. I sort of just want to check out Rick Luke, just because this Francisco guy told us not to. Yeah, I want to check him out just to see how bad he is. Yeah, both valid. I kind of wanted to check out Guillermo because he's the one that we know of that de la Vega did not suggest and like de la Vega was hiding something. We just don't know what.

37:13 Well, I kind of suspect that this ruin is more than a couple walls in a cenote. Well, yeah, there's that. I would hope it is or this whole thing is going to be out of a waste of time. Yeah, who do we want to talk to? Yeah, I think it's time for some job interviews. I think the majority wants to talk to Nick Luke. OK, Rick. Luke, Huh? OK. Why do you say it like this? I just said it like that because I'm pulling up my notes. That makes sense. That makes sense. And I'm trying to just say his name normally instead of saying uh, so that's what I'm doing that. Yeah, good luck. Oh I know it's bad, but Rick Luke is an American explorer. God, I just did it immediately.

38:03 Rick, Luke is an American explorer. Do you go to him? Do you give him a call and invite him to a place of your choosing? Are you gonna, like, set up an interview table in your hotel room? What's the plan? In our hotel room? Absolutely not. We definitely set up the interview table though. Yes, like a a cafe. Not a great cafe, but better than our awful hotel. Yeah, we we don't want them to know where we sleep. There's that as well. Rick Luke is a American. He appears to be around 30 years old. He's wearing tight pants with a loose cream colored shirt. He's got a well maintained goatee and he's wearing a pistol in a holster that he has over his shoulder. He is very excited to meet you.

39:05 He offers a handshake to all of you. All right. Kerns, follow me, OK? We both reached to shake his hand at the same time. He reaches and shakes both hands. He sort of crosses his hands to do it too. Shit I wasn't expecting. Honestly, I respect the hostage. Freaking out Kerns, what do I do? Yeah, I respect it. Yeah, he's quick. Hey. Open carry though. My name's Rick. Rick Luke, and I heard you were getting ready to go into the jungle. Is that right? Where'd you hear that from? Well, that's why you called me here, so I suppose I've kind of wasted your time by saying you want to go into the jungle, but yes. I like this guy.

39:50 I am. I am your man, he says with a shiny smile. Wow. Now this smile is so shiny. Yeah, look at those teeth. Now here's the thing. There may be other guides around here, but I'm more than a guide. I am a fellow archaeologist. I am a comrade in science and expeditioning. These are the folks you're going to find. OK, what do you know about the jungle? I'm sorry. What do you know about the jungle? What do I know about the jungle? I know plenty about the jungle. I've been through every goddamn jungle on the planet, while I may not have been.

40:36 All right, name 2. I've been through the Amazon and I've been through most of the Yucatan jungle here. I went actually less northward to where you would be heading. I headed more east. I have seen all sorts of things in the ruins here and I'm looking to check a few more off the books. You know what I mean. There is no real detailed information about Chichen Ijul. There's only one book written by a Doctor Cartwright in 1846. Now I'm looking for a new challenge and I'm going to write the definitive book on the subject.

41:16 Seems like it'll be good fun. Now, this book that you found by. Yeah, Mr. Cartwright, did you find that in the local library? Because we have a suspicion that the selection here isn't all that great. Yeah, I did notice that there's very little information. Yeah. What can you expect? This guy did is doing the same thing as us. He didn't research this place before he came here. No, that's why I came here. I researched this place beforehand. Oh, OK. I know a lot about the the, I can tell you quite a bit about it. I've done a lot of research beforehand. The sort of thing you should have done. I didn't actually say that, but I I. Sounded like it through. A God named Daniel was saying that through. Dan's saying that. Dan's saying that one to us.

42:00 Dan's so good at playing an American. There's not just the book written by Doctor Cartwright now, there is also an account from a conquistador named Francisco de Balacazar, who vanished with a dozen soldiers and explorers in the area in 1518. Must have turned back up at some point though, I'm thinking. Right, Right. Isn't that descendants work? I mean, maybe he. Yeah, that's what that's what I was gonna say, yeah. Maybe. Yeah, there's a cryptic message that one of the guides says in the diary that was found, it says I am no jewel.

42:42 I will not go to their place. Promising gentlemen, do you have any questions for Mr. Luke here? I'm is he on cocaine or something? No, he's not on any sort of substances. You may or may not have noticed that I've been a bit twitchy lately. I'm sorry, is, is this a confession that that Kearns is on cocaine or that Renee is on cocaine? No, Kearns has just not taken any morphine since. He's OK. Oh yeah, that'd do it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yep. That was earlier today though those. Withdrawal symptoms, That's not the full. Extent of the question problem.

43:29 Wow, that's not great, man. Oh. So what sort of vibe is Nick Luke giving off here? Or sorry Rick Luke, what sort of vibe is he giving off? Like does assess honesty give me anything on him? Look, he's exaggerating occasionally, but he seems like an honest guy. He the exaggerations he's giving you are not the kind of exaggerations you would get if you were like a true liar. It is a guy exaggerating a little bit to get hired. Yeah, that's. Does he seem like he's full of shit? No, he does not seem like he's full of shit.

44:09 All right, all right. So yeah, Smalls is just kind of nodding along as he's talking. I don't know if I want to hire him necessarily, but I sort of want to let him tug along. I definitely think we should put a pin in him. I kind of want to interview all of our options. OK, yeah, I should have seen that one coming. Well, of course, Mr. Luke, would you be interested in joining us more on a scientific capacity rather than solely as a guide? I assumed that would be the case. I'm not going to lie, I would be guiding you there, but I intend to take some pictures and write a book about it. Well, what I'm saying is that you'd be more focusing on scientific support rather than guiding us, and we'd leave that to somebody else. Well, I'll have you know that I'm trained in archaeology, the local languages.

45:00 I've traveled through many a jungle, Mexico. She's my one true love, and I think I'm the best man for the job. But maybe, maybe we could work something like that. I don't know if I could really. I need a job. Yeah. I think what my companion is saying here is we're willing to have you come along and work with, but what we may need is somebody who is more acquainted with the specific geography of the era. I would say you could make a one point bargain spend to convince him of this. Done. Well, I suppose I could make quite a bit of money with the information that I find.

45:47 Oh, you'll be paid, of course, but we're not going to have you tag along unpaid. Oh, well, yes, definitely, definitely. Then. Yes. He was thinking that he was going to come along without getting paid, and in fact, he was cozying up to that idea. But Oh no, definitely. I do appreciate the idea of being paid. Yes, definitely. I'm not worried about money. Can't take it with me when I die. Chicks watch. After that, I'm picturing Smalls is sitting next to JB like on the other side from Kearns. Colin and I are kind of bookending. Smalls is just going to kind of turn to JB and be like almost had him for free quietly so only JB can hear he.

46:29 He was going to be willing to pay for the privilege. Yeah, I. OK, well I will have you know that I could be your guide, but if I'm just hanging out with you all and finding out the truth about these crazy ruins, I don't have a problem with that one iota. All right. How's he looking, this Rick Luke guy like? He looks exactly like Scoops we got the same actor. What do you mean? How's he looking? Like should he turn on us? How easy it is to. Good trains take him in a fight, yeah. He's sizing him up. Sizing him up. Ocular pat down.

47:12 God damn it, how would you size him up? I'm trying to figure out like because I have AI have a stat line for him. I'm just trying to figure out what I want to do to make you figure that out. You know what? Ask me what are his stats? Accounting. Unhelpful. Do not tell us his accounting. I think the most narrative one would almost be athletics because that would be the one that like. Yeah. That's like if you're sizing someone up, that would be the most apparent I think. 10 Athletics. I have 10 athletics. Yeah. So he looks pretty strong. Yeah, I'll give you one more skill question. Firearms. 5. OK. I was going to ask ask Health, but. If we're worried about him turning on us, the combat skills make more sense.

47:59 Yeah, that's fine. This guy, this guy doesn't seem like he's gonna turn on Dude. This guy seems nice. I don't. Know he's American. You know when you when. You're lying. You always get pitchy. No, no, I just get pitchy whenever I'm saying something that is. Obviously if it was a lie, it would be funny if it was a. Lie. Yeah, to be fair, we do usually have one person per arc that actually helps us. Could be this guy. Yeah, maybe you're going to have multiple people help you. You have multiple people help you in Mexico City. Maybe the people in Mexico are just kind of a nicer group. Yeah. That this reminds me, Mr. Luke, are you part of any ancient organizations? We've run into it a lot in our efforts. Ancient organizations mean like like a Freemason. Yeah, Freemasons, Templar, just sort of nomadic tribe. Illuminati.

48:54 Can't say anything like that, no. Well, of course you couldn't wake. OK oh this this this arc is hilarious so far. Well, I will tell you you've talked to the silliest candidate first, yeah. This is true. OK, let's talk to the. Other guy, thank you for your time. There's two other guys. We'll be in touch. All right, bring in the next candidates. They're all sitting outside, you know they're in suits with their resumes perfect. Twiddling their thumbs, nervous. How about the one whom de la Vega recommended? OK, Pablo Garza only speaks Spanish and Mayan, so some of you were gonna have.

49:43 All right. I am out of this conversation. Good night everybody. As am I. Hello. Yeah. Mr. Garza, you come highly recommended. Can you tell us about yourself? He smiles and shrugs a little bit all. Right. I'm going to mark that down as a no. No, I I have been doing this for a very long time. For the record, I didn't really describe him. He's a man in his mid maybe late 30s so it's a little hard to tell unless you just want to straight up ask him his age. He has sharp cheekbones, he's wearing comfortable clothes, he has short black cropped hair, and as you notice, he's a missing a little bit of his left little finger.

50:33 Competition. He is fingering a golden crucifix that he wears while talking to you. So how long is long time? Since I was a kid, I more or less grew up in these jungles. It was a way to make money. I was a Porter when I was growing up and now I hire the porters and lead people in there. We've heard talk of bandits in the area, do you know anything about them? There are bandits in the area, yes. Now if you are careful they can be avoided and if you move with enough confidence and enough weaponry they could be intimidated to back off.

51:13 Most of the time. I will say I have been robbed once or twice by bandits. That is a risk of the job. But if you give them what they want, they usually won't kill you. At least they haven't killed me usually. Well, I hesitate to say this, but people that look like you are not the favorite of some of the bandits. Not a fan of amputees. Oh no, wait, white folk, I get it. Sorry. Yes. Is that what happened to the other expedition? That may be the case. S S Honesty. He seems to be telling the truth. He doesn't seem to know about that. He seems nervous. Not nervous, like there's some sort of like great secret or whatever, but he says the jungle can be dangerous. They say that Chichen Jjul is haunted, if you believe that sort of thing by ghosts.

52:12 There's plenty of things in the jungle that I can't explain. No, no. But see ghosts, They're incorporeal. They're not something to be too worried about. If it's haunted by something living, that's when it gets scary. Well, like I said, I know the jungle very well. I still can't explain everything that I've seen there, but I could get you to where you need to be. I like this guy. I don't say it. I like this guy. What's got you so nervous? Is it just going into the jungle or something darker? The last expedition that went did not come back. Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense. Neither did their guide. Yes, looking at this, he's maybe trying to decide whether if he even wants to come along with you. I have lots of experience in the jungle. I know some of the best men for the job. I can hire porters for a competitive rate, and this is a short expedition.

53:14 And I assume you won't be spending too much time in this city now. I'm sorry, are you trying to find Chichen Azul or are you trying to find Dominguez's people? Well, with any luck, they'll be the same spot, right? Well, yes, but what is your ultimate goal? I suppose to find Chichen Azul. Well I will hire probably 4 porters travelling with us would be the right amount. That should be able to be enough for about a week's worth of supplies. And do you know anything about the previous expedition, what they thought was sufficient? I don't. I wasn't part of their logistics team.

53:55 Sure, but word gets around right? I don't know how many they brought. I there were many more of them, so they would have they brought many more porters. All right, fair enough. So conceivable somebody could still be out there. I hope so. If they're being held for ransom, they may all still be alive now. No ransom note has been delivered, but perhaps you will be the ones to pay the rents. Yeah. Sure. OK, what about the last guy? Well, we could talk to Smalls and the other guy. What? The fuck?

54:37 This has happened before. Sometimes rain goes slow. As far as Smalls is concerned, he would just kind of can think about it for a minute and say we should probably plan for 10 days rather than just a week just to be on the safe. Certainly. JB Any. Thoughts. No, I think that's fair. I think that's completely fair, yeah. Better to be over prepared than under. Prepared. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we're gonna need a fuck ton of bug spread. Bringing too many supplies into the jungle can weigh you down, but. Oh, are we doing encumbrance rules? Not explicitly, but you know, for your like, narrative stuff, it's just a little awkward to move through the jungle. Or slower and easier for bandits to catch us. That too.

55:25 I mean, I'm probably the most scariest human thing that can be encountered in the jungle. Well, unless you had an extra mouth. I said human. Colin looks offended. OK, what about that other guy? All right. Guillermo Castillo comes into the interview room that I guess you guys have set up. We we set this up in a cafe. We are definitely tipping our weight person for this shit. Yeah, everybody gets a free lunch as well. He's a man in his 40s, early 40s probably. He's wearing a khaki vest with an accumulation of stains on it. He's got a angle of brown black hair, a large nose, and a deep scar on his right arm.

56:13 He frowns constantly and will often arch one eyebrow as he speaks to you. Does. He's speaking. Hello. He does speak English, yes. My name is Guillermo Castillo. If you're looking for a guide, I'm the best one. That's not what we've heard. That's terrible way to. Interview to start. Terrible way to start and interview Jesus Christ, Oh my God. Well, I saw that you were talking to that Rick Luke fellow, but that guy is some offense. An idiot. We are not looking at him as a guide at this point. We have made other arrangements.

56:58 With yeah, more like a pet monkey. And Pablo, he's a well meeting guy, but ultimately he's a coward and he doesn't have my years of experience. He does seem a little flighty. Does this guy seem fighty or flighty? I know exactly where you need to go. I can get you there safely and quickly, and that's that. He seems confident. Well, Pablo said confidence was good in the face of the bandits, so. Have you ever been robbed by bandits? The juggle is a dangerous place. You see this scar? He says, pointed to his scar. I got that in a fight with some of the bandits, but I kept all my things and they're all dead. You should see the other guy s s honesty. You can tell that he's lying a little bit, but it definitely feels along the lines of talking a big game. He seems very confident.

57:56 So what does this guy look like other than like in his forties? 40s scar. Big nose, dirty clothes. Big nose, dirty clothes. No, I think his clothes are mostly dirty. He just hasn't, you know, there's some stains that aren't going to come out of his cool khaki vest. In fact, he'll tell you some stories about them if you want to ask. Oh OK, so like blood well worn clothes. Yes, yes, OK. He seems in pretty good shape. He's very well tanned. He definitely, even if he is older, he definitely looks like a guy who could survive in the jungle. OK, yeah. So that yeah, that was kind of more what I was considering as a player. I kind of like this guy more than Pablo. Yeah, same.

58:39 All right, everybody huddle up. Huddle up here. Think the tradition here whenever Daniel does an interview episode is we make it in a complete waste of time and hire everybody. Is everybody with me here? Do we have the funds for that? Who? Yeah, I think so. If we pool our resources, I'm sure we do. I still have 4 credit rating. I'm up to three. What are your funds looking like, JB? One for something and Oh yeah, about a Tommy gun. You did do that. You did do that. I've got 3 so. Yeah. So we probably have enough obviously in. Are they all gonna fight each other? Now that would be funny.

59:23 Check them in the sinkhole. Make them all fight each other. Cullen walks in, breaks a pool cue. We're gonna have everybody come. I need to manage my expeditions myself, says Guillermo. Oh shit, we're into uncharted territory. If you truly do want to bring along this Rick Luke with you, as long as he doesn't tell my boys what to do or try to manage the supplies, I don't mind. But I know what I'm doing. I'm the the best expert there is around here. And I'm the guy you want.

1:00:03 The jungle is a very dangerous place. I've seen broken bones you could eat, poisoned berries that make your that'll kill you in an hour. Why would we want to do that? There's venomous snakes that'll kill you before you take 3 steps. I know how to keep you away from them. I am the guy you want, and I'm very handsome, he says with a. Grin 6 out of 10. Well, a slight grin. Wait, assess honesty. Is he very handsome? He's all right. Yeah, I I stand by it. I do say 6 out of 10. Wait, how handsome am I? Solid 9 I've. Never. I've never thought about another man that way.

1:00:45 Assess honesty. Suddenly you were struck by a vision. It is of a door to a closet. Kern's blush is because JB said he was a nine. Smalls is like, yeah, I'm for hiring this guy. Garza was recommended by your friendly local land Baron, but. But he really does seem flighty. Yeah, you're, you're seeming like this Castillo guy seems like the professional, the guy you want. Part of it is paranoia as the player, part of it is Smalls is like, yeah no, there's a reason why he didn't suggest him and he was hiding something.

1:01:33 And it could just be more fun to go with the second choice, yeah. Second answered. You could just bring Rick Luke. He could just run the expedition. No, I don't trust like that. Fuck that. No, I want fun. Not everybody dies. No, Rick Luke is a pet monkey. Maybe Rick Luke will be 1 of you when one of you guys dies. OK, now that would be fun. I have not thought that. Would be really funny. To be fair, maybe Guillermo Castillo could be one of you guys. Would one of you guys dies although he has less reason to travel around? If JV bites, it divbs on Rick Luke. Fair. Have colonized like hey, do I get the feeling you guys respect me a little more all of a sudden? All right, so with that, I think it's time for you to start getting outfitted to head into the jungle. All right, full camo, Fortunate son starts playing. I don't think camo is a thing yet, is it? Oh yeah.

1:02:30 Well. Camo would be a thing. Well, camo's absolutely. Fortunate son. However, I know Smalls is going to look for a firearm of some sort. You could get a, you get a basic firearm, like, just like a rifle, yeah. Machete. It's. Recommended that you all have at least one firearm with you to to keep the bandits at Bay. This is what Castillo recommends. I guess I'll get a gun. I've still got my light revolver from the fallen police. Gotcha. Yeah, the policeman's gun. It's fine. Yeah, I didn't steal it from him. Yeah, you looted the courts, It's different. Yeah, and that area is a sinkhole now, so it's not like 1 missing guns going to freak people out. I'm good for weapons.

1:03:15 I'm I'm going to need a walking stick and like a backpack that I can throw off my back in like one second immediately as I need it. You're probably going to get me to get new clothes while you're here. You're going to want clothing that breathes and won't staff you in the heat, and you're also going to want things that are sort of sturdy enough that they won't be shredded to pieces by like, brambles and branches as you travel. You're going to be tough boots and sturdy packs. I mean my clothes are have bullet holes and a whole lot of blood on them. Yeah, well that's weird. Mine are self healing. Like a cutting mat?

1:03:58 Yeah. You're going to get sort of generic adventuring clothes, as it were, for the jungle, unless there's anything in particular if you want to add some style like, oh, I'm going to wear a hat or a scarf or something like that, but. Colin would actually like to get himself set up with a basic prosthetic. Oh, OK. There you go, I've. Meant meant to bring this up before but forgot slash didn't have an opportunity. Yeah, I think you can. It's not even one or the other, it's like both at the same time. Yeah, yeah, I think so. You're not be able to do a ton with it, but you know. I'm OK with that. OK, that's fine. The the hiring of the porters is handled by your guide. He gets 5 porters to come with you. They're going to be carrying all the food and water and the tents and stuff like that.

1:04:48 You guys are going to be carrying some of the two, but the reason that you hire porters is because you need to carry like a lot of crap when you're going into the jungle. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And with that, you step into the dark and mysterious jungles of the Yucatan Peninsula. Thanks for listening. Daniel is our GM, Renee plays Franklin Kearns, Damien plays Donovan Smalls, Nathan plays JB Falk, and Russell plays Colin Kane, in addition to mixing, mastering and music in the episodes, our album art is by Trinity The Tee Time Witch, and our main theme is by Claire LW. We have a Patreon at patreon.com/dread Tails and we do a live stream the last Sunday of the month. You can find links to these and other things on the link tree in the show notes.

1:05:37 Again, thanks for listening and until next time. Try not to fall off any cliffs. Man. I promise nothing. OK, fair enough.