Eternal Lies 11: Spa Day

0:00 Daniel's Dread Tails is a show for grown-ups. It may contain adult language and adult themes. Please check the episode description for content warnings. Last time on Eternal lies, after some in depth planning, our stalwart investigators finally enacted their plan to abduct the cult leader apparent Morgan Donovan. Discovering him to be a more unsavory rube than nefarious mastermind. They quickly hatched a plan to sneak into the warehouse where in a vast and obscene mouth dwelt and absconded with the children currently serving as pigs for inscrutable cult experiments, swiftly ending the encounter to avoid suspicion from Donovan's guards, the investigators decided to take action to mitigate the mounting stress of this strange new reality. They found themselves thrust into the middle of leaving their new found Patsy to sweat while they took a day to unwind and fine tune their next plan.

1:12 Also, Kay got laid. The die is cast, the pact is sealed. May God have mercy on our souls. It's Daniel Dredd tales. I'm your game master, Daniel Fernandez. He. Him. I'm Damien eBay. I'll be playing. Reginald Hill Work I'm Nathan and I am playing JB Faulk, a writer. I'm Russell, they them and I'll be playing Colin King.

1:53 Ragged eye. I'm Renee Shih. They and I will be playing Doctor K Morgan Shihar. You guys have returned to the hotel and the plan is, well, I guess we talked about everything you were doing in the evening and your plan for today is chilling, is that correct? Your plan is to chill. Chill, I saw. You everybody's going to take a day to recover some sanity. Much. Needed and. Stability and. Yes, stability. Stability. Rest, relax, get ourselves ready for the big kerfucker we're doing the day after.

2:37 And the more I think about it, the less I think this is a good idea. But hopefully Dan will just say, OK, the day went smoothly and we can now move on to the thing. But. I'm not saying that. I know. At some point we leave. We need to leave a message for Donovan to appraise him of his part in our plan. Right. We should probably leave him a message telling him that we're going to do the plan tomorrow and for today, act natural. Yeah, that's valid. I know I put stuff in the discord but I don't know if we got it on record. What? I was going to suggest that me and Reg handle the warehouse and Kay and the other guy Jub.

3:26 Brah. Jump in legs, he'll get the kids. I'm gonna throw something at you. You're pissing me off. Wait, wait a minute. So you're gonna split up for your mission? Yep. OK, interesting. OK, OK. Yeah, two of us get the kids. Two of us bomb the warehouse, and then we. Donovan creates chaos at his mansion and gets to the airplane. No, Daniel sounds too fucking happy about it. Let's let's backtrack. Let's. No, I'm just. Trying to.

4:06 I'm not trying to make you please do not read any emotion into this, I'm just trying to understand the plan. You heard the man. He's an emotionless robot. Yeah, don't we? Need Donovan to get us in to get you guys into the warehouse. Well yeah, but then he can fuck off and make chaos. OK, fair enough. How about, how about this? I'm loath to be saying this, but I think maybe we should collaborate with Donovan on how we want to do the plan, how we want to enter the warehouse and do the thing, because we don't know what exact is waiting for us there. Well, the man's under constant guard. How do you suggest we talk to?

4:47 Kidnap him again. It's not like we can really take much of A time to plan with him what we're going to do. And honestly, the guy's an asshole, scared or not if we look at what he did to his kid. And that other kid. And his wife. Well timed, JB. Yeah, honestly, as far as I'm concerned, he can be an expendable distraction. Can't say I'm a huge fan of the way you phrased that, but. He sacrificed his wife to the mouth. Oh no, you don't have to.

5:31 No, you don't have to convince me. I I'm fully aware just how much of an asshole he is. It's just, I guess I'm a bit of a humanist at heart. Well, I do think we still want him at least a little alive. Oh, to get us in, definitely. We did make a deal with him. And also just for the sake of the child. For yeah. If if Donovan's gone, the child doesn't have anyone. His child would be better off than foster care, as bad as that is. This was the 30s, so that's rough. Yeah, boy, and I'm and I'm Canadian.

6:14 Our foster care sucks big old balls. There. There is nuance there, but that's a different. One. Yeah, yeah. So what are you doing today? Well, for starters, as the person who has done I, I think I feel like I've done the least amount of snooping. I don't know, maybe I feel like I'm the least recognizable of the team. So I'll deliver the message that today he's going to act natural and to expect further instructions tomorrow, and then I'm going to take a nice spa day. How about everybody else? I assumed this entire conversation was being had with cucumbers on their eyes. What What does spa day look in 1930s in Malta? Not exactly how you take things.

7:08 I don't think they necessarily have changed too much. I mean hot rocks, hot rocks. So they. Had those back then. Yeah, they had those back then, Massages. Cucumbers. I mean, the Romans had spas back to like, you know, the fucking 12th century. Yeah, it's true. There's anime about it. Is there like? There is. Yeah, it's on Netflix. Not exactly a reliable historical source, but. You're not watching enough anime. I can't argue with that. I suppose especially if Malta is a tourist destination, it's definitely you could go to a spa. Now normally they're actually going to be a little bit more specific.

7:52 Nowadays you sort of go to a spa and just sort of like you could like have an appointment, whatever. This one you sort of check into a spa and they like give you treatment, like a scheduled set of treatments. Like we're going to give you this health food and we're going to do you this and we're going to do this and we're going to do you this. OK. Resting, yeah. So. So it's closer to rehab. Than spa A. Little bit, yeah, especially. When you're with mimosas. Yeah, this plan sucks all of a sudden. Yes, how about a beach? How about a beach day? Go to the beach. Let's just go to the beach, swim in the fucking ocean. I mean, you don't spot, it'll be lovely. You'll you'll get healthy, get all your Wellness going on. I'm so nervous.

8:39 Wait, what do you heard of me is like, we should have done the plan today. We should have just gone for it. Well, then Donovan wouldn't do it. Today. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Excuse me, gentlemen. I don't know about you, but I am not leaving my room until I am, I don't know, hungry. Yeah, I acknowledge that everybody else's stability is on like a precipice, so. Hey, are we having this conversation or are you just like last we saw Kay, I believe you were pulling Kearns into bed with you. Yes, and let me just say, Kearns isn't leaving my room either. Oh OK, figure will probably get together for like breakfast the next day.

9:23 I was picturing that's where this conversation is going. Oh, after you've rested, we're just gonna yadda yadda over the spa day like. We're on the spa day, but like breakfast of the spa day. OK. Fine. Well no, like if that's what we would like to do, I have an idea for what Reg is gonna be doing cuz Reg has probably the highest stability out of everybody in the group, which is kind of scary. No, I did. I did want to talk to Reg. OK. OK. So we'll have our normal breakfast time then, I think. OK. OK. And that's where this conversation has been happening. I will say that all the freaking out is completely out of character. JB is cool as a cucumber.

10:06 Nathan is freaking out that about this. I'm so scared that Daniel's going to do something and we're gonna ruin our whole plan and everything's gonna go to shit and it's gonna anyway as we. Were it's decided, it's decided, Daniel, get out of the chat. What? I was just logged out, but I was just like, you guys just narrate a spa day like this is fine. Like you guys can just free role play a spa day. I'll just fucking, you know, I'll just hang out with my cat. Maybe I'll play replay the Knights of the Old Republic too. I'll do some of that. You know, you guys have fun. No, that's not.

10:49 Happening make the bastard walk the plank. It's called Daniel's Tread Tales. Why? And yet. We have you know what that why is a good question. I was not the one who supported that name, I believe. It would. Be true. One of my favorite facts about the show. Maybe so far off the rails already. We're Yeah, apparently you guys need a spa day. Hopefully you'll get OH. God. So everybody go down the line, tell me what your character's going to be doing today, or suggest it. If you need to be doing a group effort or something, go. Reg is going to be reading a book.

11:29 He's feeling fine. The whole sanity slip thing is no big deal. So yeah, he's going to read a book. Just like in your room. Yeah, that's gonna be his main thing that he does over the day outside of the conversation with K. OK, gotcha. Cool. How about you, JB? I mean, I do have full stability. Reading a book could be fun or harrowing. You said you were gonna be delivering the message to Donovan. Is that true? Yeah, that's first. OK, which now that I say that out loud, it makes me realize I'm probably gonna get jumped so. I believe Mercked is the term. Don't make it worse. I'm so anxious about this. I think I took plenty of his for the team back in LA. You got to start pulling your wig around here. All right, all right.

12:18 You want. That's how you want a mother. OK, motherfucker. All right. That's how you want to be. Not like I saved your ass in LA then. I love you, Nathan. How about you, Colin? Colin's going to visit a spa. OK, actual spa. Cool, Colin's the only one who sticks to the plan. And how about you, Kay? I'm basking in the afterglow. OK, that's your whole day. No. This take shower. Fuck off. No, obviously not. No. I will say this Kearns was tossing and turning throughout the night.

12:59 I was about to ask. And is very sort of awkward and distant from you. When he wakes up, he leaves pretty quickly to go back to his room. Oh shit, I can't get him to talk, can I? You could go try to talk to him, yes, but at this point he has not even come down for the the breakfast meeting. I'll go talk to him. So first I'll go talk to him, then I'll go talk to Reggie, OK? And I think I'm going to use flattery to get him to talk. OK, so you go knock on his door. He eventually sort of, he opens the door and sort of looks at and says it says, oh, good morning, Doctor Morgan. Yikes. He just ghosted you to your face. Out of character, I'm sorry, what the fuck? In character, I am baffled.

13:45 I don't think that was lovely last night, but I don't. Hang on, hang on. Before he says anything, I'm going to use flattery and I'm going to go, well, that's not the name I heard you say last night over and over again. Oh my God. May I come in? Flattery is not the way to get to him, he says. I think I need to think about some things. I don't know. It's all. It's also mixed up. I can't Eddie. He closes the door. Cool. Can I lose a point of stability? Sure, he's. Like that bad, huh? Looks like Kay was a little too freaky for Kern. It is pretty.

14:27 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Who wouldn't in this situation, Would you? That's good error. That's yeah. Do you have any skill, any other skills you want to use for the Kern situation here? I mean reassurance. Good assess. Intimidation I. Don't, I don't suppose I have assess honesty and I have bureaucracy and cop talk. I mean, I guess you could use one of those. Yes, I will use this as honesty please. He's afraid of you. Oh. What the fuck did you guys do last night? Holy shit it. Wasn't really the sex it was.

15:08 That's not what it was. No, I know that. I know I'm. Come on. Does it have to do with his nightmares? Was it another nightmare? I mean, he was having intense nightmares last night. Well, if I was in there, and if that is the reason that he's scared now, I don't think I need to push this. So I'm just gonna, I was gonna go take a breather, perhaps a glass of martini, and I'm gonna go talk to Reggie. OK, come on in. Do I find original reading? Yeah, actually I think he's in the process of picking out the book that he is going to peruse today. Yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to shred right up to you and I'm just going to look at what you're looking at. And I'm just going to say, got any advice or some light reading I might want to do tonight?

15:59 Well, if you are serious about wanting to learn this and you understand what will happen, Reg Kind. Of goes into his bag and looked for a minute and pulls out a book and it's on us, Bracklick and Colton. All right, the unnamed, unnamed cult, whatever. OK, I will spend a point of languages. I was about to say I didn't need German to be able to read it. As far as I know, it's an English translation. It's an English translation, yeah. OK. Yeah, so you'll be able to read. This might give you some more insights on some of the things that we're dealing. I wrinkled my nose a little bit at the fact that it's a translation.

16:45 Yes, insights are lovely, but what else can people do? Do you know what I'm saying? If if it's possible to open a gate in space-time worlds, what else can be done? I want to know. I need to know. Laying the proper groundwork is part of to truly know the secrets and to be able to understand what is going on. You must know and you must learn about what has come before and what we are truly facing. Otherwise, you will set yourself up for destruction, you will lose yourself before gaining any simple power, or you will summon something that you should know.

17:33 You really make a good point there. You don't know much about my history, but my first experience. With this and he kind of just gestures. Was back in the war, I had come across a piece of writing and without knowing what I was doing, I I brought something bra. What sort of something? It's it killed so many of the people that I had fought inside so far, which is one of the reasons why, like I said, having the brown cord laid so that you know what you're doing is very important.

18:18 Does Reggie look like? How's he looking as he's recalling those events? As he's recounting that he looks haunted, how did Kay feel as she was going to be devoured by the mountain? Pretty damn terrified. There are shades of that that you can see in Reg's eyes. There's also he truly believes that it's because of him that the rest of his squad had died. Hey, I think you lose a point of stability by recalling all of this. Yeah, OK. I take the book and I look at the book and I look back up at Reggie and I go. I am. I have to admit I'm feeling a little embarrassed right now because, well, I I was about to.

19:06 I was about to run out of guns blazing. But seeing how it affects you and I'm, I'm, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. And I will listen to your advice. Rest assured, Mr. Killworth. I appreciate that. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. I will keep that fine. I'll even be. All right. Damn. Sounds like we're mostly done with our stuff, I guess. I guess, Kay, I guess you do read that book, then. That's what you're planning on doing in your room? Or are you going to go down to the beach? What are you going to do? A nice beach? Read The Unspeakable Cults. I'm not gonna read it at the beach. I do go to the beach, No.

19:47 So somebody else do other stuff? OK, so you go to the beach. I think you could check into the spa pretty easily, Colin. Yay. And the woman at the front desk says, So what? Are you looking for help with today? I'd like to forget all my cares and just let the troubles of the day fade into obscurity. No elsewhere. I want them to fade elsewhere at any rate. And would you say that you're having any medical maladies? I sure hope not. All right, well, we'll see what we can do for you and you're pretty much going to be done for the day as you are given a very long, fancy relaxing treatment, if that's OK.

20:32 Glorious. Yeah, perfect. Unless there's an old man watching him in the spa. No, that old man's up to something else. I know what that old man's doing and he's not in the spa. It would be great if he was though. Oh. Boy. Hey Romeo D605. You know what? I'm feeling nice. Uh oh. You can recover half of that is stability. So all I let you round up get 3 stability. Nice, that brings me back to full. OK. I think that's most of your day unless something else happens. But I think just like you're going to get a mineral bath, we're not really doing the cucumbers on the ice thing yet. But you know, it's just sort of given health food. It's all, it's all very lovely.

21:16 Fantastic. Yeah. Are you going to be trying to chat with the people there or are you going to be very sort of quiet? What what sort of vibe do you think you're going for? Polite, but not sociable. Polite, but not sociable. OK, so. That's how I try to live my life so. Yeah. OK. Then I think we will just say you don't really meet anybody too particular there. I hope you don't mind that I'm sort of brushing this over, but it's just a. Very. Relaxing time for you. Hey, nothing wrong with someone just having a good day. World full of nightmares. Yeah, you're just having a good day. Yeah. JB, what are you doing? Is it safe to assume that the message delivery went off without a? Hitch, we got to do that by dude, how are you delivering the message?

22:01 How are we doing this? Well, it's pretty simple. Like we discussed before, he has his breakfast, which he does at the same time every day. I go to the restaurant and I hide a message under the table under which he sits. I just kind of nonchalantly stick it there and then I go get some coffee or some shit, I don't know. OK, Nathan, you're not going to like this, but I do need you to make a sense Trouble Role Difficulty 4. Done, done, done. Of course. Well, I'm definitely spending a point for it. Oh God, God, why couldn't we just do the plan today? Why did we have to do this? For the plot, JB. 4 total.

22:46 When you go to get a coffee, you notice that there are definitely two men following. Did they see me put the note in? You're not quite sure, but that seems likely. You know, in hindsight it probably would have been better for Red to do it. Well, you know what they say. Hindsight is AD 20. It is. So what do you do? I don't know. Take your tail on a spa day. Flashback to call in giving JB some advice for dealing with the tail. Yeah, I've only been doing this a couple years. Only had it happen to me once and I sort of just got this shit beat on to me. Yeah, it's remembering. What would Collins say? OK, so step one.

23:30 Panic. Done that good. Step 2. Freak done that. Great. Step three. Step 3. Does JB have health? I do. I don't have a lot of it left, but I do. Well, you're going to need to decide quickly, because these men are. Or you could just see what happens. I mean, that is always an option. Yeah, you could just sort of, you know, maybe these guys are here to help you. Friendship. Have a nice chat a lot. Like that. I mean, you don't know these guys are bad. We do though. As players we do.

24:12 Just cuz you're being followed, maybe it's somebody nice following you. You drop this note. You drop this note. Hey, how many people are in this restaurant right now? Yeah, there's about a dozen people in there. Remind me the place where I left the note where we established he always sits every day? What was that? It was a restaurant by his house. We never actually gave it a name. OK, the way I figure it, if there are other people in here, I sit at this restaurant. I pray to God they won't try anything until I'm outside of the building and kidnapping me would be a huge scene inside the building. I wait for him to show up and then when he shows up I make a huge distraction which lets him read the note in peace. While I get these while I at this point the whole plan's fucked right?

25:06 Necessarily, if they saw me plant the note, we're we're screwed. Shit, if I can get these guys out of here before they have time to contact anyone by having them follow me, I'm going to nonchalantly make my way out of the restaurant and then book it. OK, I've got athletics and I've got a lot of it, at least compared to stealth. OK, so you just feet, feet down the streets of the city? Are both of them following me? Yes, they both are all right. First, I need you to make me an athletics check difficulty 4. I'm going to spend 2 points on this because if Jonathan reads the note without anybody noticing and can dispose of it, he has plausible deniability and the plan isn't sunk yet.

25:56 OK, well make me a roll. All right. You said difficulty 4, right? Yes. Yeah. So I rolled the three total. So that is a failure is what that is. Yes, yes it is. It was nice knowing you, JB. So you are cornered in an alleyway. Gentlemen, how can I help you? What if just sort of Cox their head to the side and says, I don't recognize you buddy, what are you doing here? Oh well, I am sightseeing. Malta is a lovely place, I'm sure you agree. Ah, the wonderful air and the ocean and truly, truly such a lovely location. Yeah, it's beautiful, but there's a storm coming. Should probably get out of town before that storm hits anybody right here.

26:54 I know you don't live here, right? What hotel are you staying at? We'll take you back there, help you pack up your stuff. One of them has now pulled their jacket away, showing the pistol that is in their coat. Of. Course, So there's no reason that we need to make a scene. Brent, are you going to come with us? I don't see why not. All right, so if you don't want to tell us where you're staying, did you forget? Forget where you were staying. I'm just going to give them like the name of real hotel. That isn't one that we chose because we saw a few different options. So we did. Yeah, I'm just going to say one of the names.

27:36 We didn't go to all. Right. Come with us. We'll take you right there. So polite. Yeah. No, that that's what we're here for. And we could take you to. We'll take you on a boat out of town. My goodness, you are just the picture of hospitality. Absolutely. Let's start with the hotel, though. They're going to start bringing you to the hotel that you said and we cut away. How's everybody else doing? This is the most relaxing day I've ever had, OK? Reg is having a good read. OK, great. Great. Kay. What? How? How's the beach? I mean, you tell me, how is the beach? You know. Game Master it's. Lovely, nice Mediterranean, you know. Not a cloud in the sky, you know. Oh, wonderful.

28:21 Yeah, it's just really, come on, incredibly relaxing, you know what if all you do is spend your day at the beach? Romeo D6. At 5:00. OK, you recover 3. I'm going to need it. I did really well. OK. I am so sorry. Well can I at least get like a bad feeling or something? No, you're having a You have a bad feeling you're not going to be recovering your stability. Yeah, you're just having a great day. You're having a really great day. Now you've got stability to make another gate and you've already seen the graveyard. Nathan, you are brought to the wrong hotel. Yep, and they sort of lead you inside and gesture you towards the guy at the front desk.

29:07 Yeah, so I'm going to go up to the guy at the front desk and say hello there. I seem to have misplaced my room key and I'm going to grab like a little notepad and pen from the front desk. Here is my room number and I'm going to write down the words I am being held at gunpoint and pass it off to them before the people who are holding me at gunpoint can see what I'm writing. I know they don't have their guns out yet, but like. I need you to roll me a conceal. And if I don't have that skill? You just roll it raw baby Difficulty 4 though. Lord, give me a sign, damn it. Well, what are they going to do?

29:49 Shoot me in a public place? It's a weird thing to put on a tombstone, but I think he would have wanted it. Oh, no, I know exactly what's going to happen. The man looks at the note, looks up at the men, and says, Gentlemen, it's so good to see you here. Oh fucking Gov course do. You gentlemen need a private room. Yes, yes, we do. Of course. And he is going to leave the two of you or the three of you to a side room, a utility closet.

30:31 My friends, my friends, my friends. Since the one who's been talking, the other one has not said a word the entire time, you're getting a look at these men a little bit more. They look almost comically opposed from each other. The one who has been speaking is tall and gangly, and the other one is If dwarves existed in this setting, he might be a dwarf. This setting is real life, so technically. Well, yes, but he's not a little person. I should be clear. I should be clear. But he does have a beard. He does have a beard. He actually has a very long brain, yeah. So I'm about to get fucking shot by Mario and Luigi over here so.

31:13 No. If we know something about Luigi is that he's good at shooting people. So you know what's going to happen. Nathan Mushrooms, we cut away from you. Oh God. You guys get back in the evening. JB's not there. What have they been doing to him all this time? Never mind. I've been having a. I've had a good day. Yeah, yeah, but it's night now so your good day is over so you can start panicking and trying to help me now. Please team. Yeah, so we we get down to dinner, JB's not there. Yes. Wasn't he just delivering the letter? What was he going to do after that? I'm actually not sure.

31:54 OK, let's go check his room. It's locked. Must have turned in early all. Right hyperspace gate in there. No, Come on, guys. That is the first. That is the first place I did hyperspace anyway. I think he said he was a big tennis player, right? Maybe he's down at the courts. I fucking knock, Mr. Fogg. I will let you know he does not, that he is not in the room. Hey, Shannon, I have this. Really awful issue with a. Rash in a place I can't discuss on air. Do you have anything to help? Me with that. Oh boy, do I. Matt, have you tried Dice Teams? It's a podcast where games are played and it's great and it'll clear all your rashes up, especially the ones and those unmentionable places. Oh, is it OK if I get it in an orifice? I don't know how you would do that. It's audio, you can find it anywhere. Podcast.

32:48 Sorry. All right, I'm going to head straight to my nearest podcast center and get me a jar of diced beans. Thanks, Shannon. You're welcome, Matt Dyson. 'S has not been proved to clear ashes, but he can't really afford him. If Dyson's is exposed to an office, contact your doctor immediately. You can find Dyson some other shows like on the Imaginary Broadcasting Network. Hey there listener, did you know that just for the price of a cup of coffee, you could send us that money instead and and we could have a cup of coffee? It's true. Daniel's Dread Tails is a free podcast afloat by your generous donations, of which we have not currently received any. But that's 'cause we haven't asked.

33:29 Maybe. So that's why we're asking, please. You can find the donate link in our link tree. Thanks. Can we, can we skip the whole, you know, Oh no. Yes, you figured. Out like looking for it. We have done. We have done this, yes. I could do so many more bad suggestions. I'm sure. Let's gather our forces and start looking for them. So where would be the first place you would go? The cafe where he was dropping off the note, ah. I guess that makes sense. As you are approaching the cafe, you hear a voice call you from an alley. Hey, hey, you're in. You're in great danger. Oh shit, it's my detective's intuition. I'm not about to talk to a random person from an alley, Hugh Gentleman, go right ahead.

34:12 Big part of detective work. Yeah, big part of being a woman is like not to do that, so. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Do you go into the alley? Absolutely. We haven't heard it officially, but is Reggie here too? Yeah, Reggie will have taken a break from his greeting. Yeah, I guess Reg goes into the alley, but basically Reg goes to the mouth of the alley to kind of keep watch as Colin is going to talk to the mysterious stranger. The mysterious stranger that you see is an older man with a great big bushy beard who noticed the old man watching them outside the window.

34:57 JBJB. Yeah. You don't recognize this man. You are in danger and so is your friend. Come here quick. You need to trust me. All right. Any gestures towards a open door? Feel like there's plot in here? Let's check it out. Can we all go in, please? He's, he's just going to kill us off 1 by 1. Come on. OK, he leads you inside a small residence. He closes the door, bolts it behind him, and then lifts up. I don't know, I've made a mistake. Lifts up the floor that does not appear to be a trapdoor, but actually is a trapdoor leading underground.

35:42 Hey, look, Ridge Catacombs. We can't really talk here. We need to be away from the prying eyes and ears of that cult. But you're here to do the right thing. I know that. OK. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Sir. Who are you exactly? Oh, I'm sorry. Before you go into this dark, mysterious tunnel, I suppose you'd like to know who I am. It would help. Yes, that would. Be audio. Fair, fair. My name is Sir Godfrey Wells. I'm a Knight of Malta. As an anthropologist, what do I know about the Knights of Malta? They're the order that controlled this island.

36:24 They're called the Knights of Malta because it is like their island. They beat back the Ottoman Empire and were able to hold on to this island for quite some time until Napoleon betrayed them at one point. But that England controls it. Right now. They are theoretically still around, but nobody has said like, all of the Knights of Malta are dead, but nobody's seen any Knights of Malta in quite some time. They're like organizations that are on the continent that are, oh, yeah, we're related to the Knights of Malta. But on Valenta itself, there are no Knights of Malta around. Valenta being the city that you guys are in. I have a question here with my knowledge of history.

37:05 Does this guy's name ring a bell? It does not. So as far as I know, he's not a very much older than he's supposed to be Knight. No, this is not a Indiana Jones and the Holy Grail sort of thing, where this is a knight who's been living for a million years. Now, is this honesty? Is this? Actually Roland from history. No, this is not actually Roland from history. OK, but is, is this guy like how how does he seem like? Does he seem like just a a lunatic or? No, he doesn't seem, he doesn't seem mad. Assess honesty. He seems to be, you know, on the up and up. He seems to be very worried.

37:46 Well, that's understandable. We're worried too. What about, though? All right. Look, we could talk along the way. There's a place where we could be safe. Come with me, he says as he gestures down the secret passage. We're looking for a friend of ours. Any chance you've seen him? Weird nose, big hair. Yes, that's what I need to speak with you about. Your friend is in grave danger. I saw him being brought to the warehouse. That wasn't out of character. Gasp. I fear he may be the next sacrifice. Well, I mean, it's not going to do as much as anyway. Yeah, we should probably be something about that. Yes, come, we must be quick. You know I'm going.

38:27 Yeah, as you're walking down, he has a Lantern. As you are down in the catacombs, this area seems very well cleared out and he's leading you to a secret area. But he says yes. As I said, my name is Sir Godfrey Wells. It's my duty to defend the city as it was founded in our name and our honor. We've always protected Valenta throughout the centuries unseen. So how long have you been protecting the city yourself? I was born here 60 years ago. I've never left. 60 eh? You're looking mighty spry for 60.

39:08 The Lord has blessed me with health that has not failed me just yet. Most of my work is done in public. I am not recognized, but I felt that this secrecy will have advantages, especially against Montgomery Donovan. It is drug dealing heathens, but they don't know. I'm on to them and they're foul. God. You seem to know an awful lot about Donovan and his foul heathens. I do, and the conversation can continue. But he brings you into an underground shrine, a sanctuary beneath Aletta proper. Shrine to who? Christ, it is a Christian shrine. I suppose I should make that clear.

39:48 As you are looking around the shrine itself, the main thing is a big old cross at one end, behind a modest altar and in an alcove there are a ton of books. There are tons and tons of books here. And then alongside the back wall, there's this lovely fresco depicting the Knights of Malta on a spar of rock, battling a dark and shapeless foe with many heads and black grasping limbs. Now these books, would they interest Reds or not? I probably I was that was one of the questions that I had. I was just kind of let waiting for everybody else. I. Was going to look at the painting with my art and history and also my how many points 2 points of mythos that I have.

40:34 OK, this piece is probably from about the 16th century. The symbolism is the thin spar of rock is the Zybrus Peninsula, which is where Valletta would eventually be built. As for the monster, it is some nebulous idea of evil. It seems abstract in a way that as you guys are realizing that they're like actual legitimate. Like you could put names to these things. This seems to be a more generic evil that is bad being battled. OK, that's that's what I was going for. He notices that you're looking at it. This depicts my forebears doing battle against the Dread God Nerlathotep, who wears many faces and many masks. No, that asshole.

41:20 You've been battling him for centuries and it found traces of him everywhere, all throughout the world. That bath. What eventually did the job I've been hearing fire a. Lot, I mean, we've been starting fire a lot, but. He says, ah, fire and explosives are good against smaller creatures, but if you truly want to defeat him and he says, ah, fuck, I need to find the thing. And you realize that that swear seems to be, but he says it almost as if he's unused to swearing, but he's trying to anyway. And he he reaches into the the bookshelf and says, ah, this, this, this is a spell that hurts that foul God. May I?

42:08 OK, yes, it's a nameless illuminated text from 1498 and it describes various encounters with Neurlathetep over the ages. But from scrolling through it, it's so scattered and vague that there's not much value to it. But there is a spell here. This spell unravels the gods physical manifestation and loses its grip on the physical realm. I'm doing the body that it happens. It's potent, but it takes time and focus to perform. I don't know what effect it would have on a part of the beast, but it were to be cast in the the foul gut of the thing, it would blast it away.

42:53 So are you saying I would have to be inside of it to do this or just really close to its manifestation? This thing, this Neurlathetep, this spell has worked against their Lathatep, our great enemy, over and over again throughout history. This form that he takes now is different, but their Lathatep has many masks. That he does. I do not know how it would work, these mouths, they appear and disappear, but surely there must be a source of them all. Yes, if you could find the source, this would destroy them. Neurlathitep would be destroyed once and for all. Well, wouldn't that be peachy?

43:44 I also look at Reggie. I'm going to go you, you don't have to do it alone. I can assist. We know I can assist. Well, we we all have our part to play. It's all billable hours. It is, it really is. But I'm going to take a look at this spell. Sir Wells, do you mind if I take a look at some of your other books you got over here? Absolutely. But I fear your friend. I'm sorry, I'm distracted. Your friend is in danger. Yes. He's been brought into the warehouse. I'd. I'm not quite sure what goes on in there, but. Well, I think we're going to find out.

44:25 Got a way for us to get in there? I do. I mean, we have a way for us to get in there. We haven't seen the inside of it. And it's warded, whatever that. Means I meant Donovan. Donovan can bring us in there. You think JB got the note to him? I don't think JB is going to have time. If we can get to him now, this is probably going to be our best opportunity to save him. I was just thinking we could go and get Donovan for like right now. Well, maybe you do that and me and Reg will well, more or less stick to the plan. Old Christian catacombs run all throughout the grounds beneath the warehouses out there, but many of them have collapsed as a result of meddling by modern builders. Underneath those catacombs, though, are much older ruins. You must ascend from the outer Christian catacombs into these lower, older ruins.

45:22 Go north as far as you can and then climb back up into the Inner Christian catacombs and you can reach the tunnels beneath Donovan's Warehouse I. Have to make a choice K. We don't need Donovan get in if we have a way in under. We we still don't know what we're going to find there. We don't know what we're going to find there, He. Could be useful. He could be useful. Well, we're Gavin, who knows what's happening to JB. It's time to make a decision. I, for one, am going to get going. Off into the catacombs, Colin strolls. Hold on, that's not the right way. Confidently walks into a wall.

46:04 I. Think we should? Is there anything that you need? I'm going to need time to take a look at this here book. And giving a glance at the rest of the books, not like pouring over the spines, is there anything that immediately jumps out? No, no Necronomicons. Necronomicon too numb? Harder. Necronom nom. Nom. This mouth is an unusual mask of Neurlathetep, like none I've seen before, but it is yet one of his many masks. You say fire and explosives do a good trick on him. You got anything around just kicking around? He sighs and walks over to the altar and puts his hand on it. I'm not sure candles are going to do the job. Eddie pushes the top of it aside, and there is a hidden compartment underneath the altar. The whole bunch of guns in there in it, whole bunch of guns in there.

47:12 It is full of explosives and weapons. Those are scientists. God helps those who help themselves. Yes. Hey, Colin. Hello. We knew this was here. Didn't have to go shake down that construction crew. Hey, you got to stay busy. That's. Why I am not skilled with these weapons myself, some of my brothers and the sisters who assisted us, we're more skilled, but they are no longer with us. I'm the only one. I have a lot of experience. This sort of thing. And Reg is kind of saying that as he is reading this spell in the to try and glean what he can from it. Yes, this seems like it's going to be a perfectly viable weapon against their lap attack.

48:04 It was definitely who we're facing. It's going to require several minutes of loud chanting and bold rebukes invoking the name of their lap attack. It cannot be cast quietly. Or so Oakley that. Makes sense? He's reading away. I'm stuffing his backpack full of grenades. Can I grab something? Yes, I'm going to say, look, I know it's funny to imagine. You know what? And that's what it is. I was going to say it's funny to imagine like a huge pile of guns and anything you could want. And I was going to say, but it's not that. But fuck it, it is that. It's a bunch of stuff from the war and also some things donated by some more religious mafiosos.

48:48 Fantastic. Oh, how does the saying go? Beware of the old man in the profession where men die. Young, yeah. That's a good thing. And yeah, by the way, Nathan, sorry that you're missing. Still, I hope you're doing just fine. No I'm fine, having a break is great for my anxiety. I'm so glad I was kidnapped. Thank. You. Right. Gives you time to think. I think there are three grenades. Are they holy grenades? Holy hand grenades. No, they are not holy grenades, though he does have some. If you want holy stuff, he might be able to help you with that too. That makes sense. How effective is Jesus going to be against Neural Azetep? Not there.

49:33 Exactly. I will have you know that we have fought back this monster for hundreds and hundreds of years, and we continue to do so. Cullen racks a shotgun and says, well, you're not going to be fighting them off anymore. I mean, I think we're going to be fighting him for quite some time for that, unless you truly can defeat him once and for all. The most that we can hope for to defeat this thing is to close the doors that have been opened that allow it into this world. Yes. Until all of those doors are closed, not only will we have to deal with Neural Athleta, but many of the other Outer Gods as well.

50:23 Other outer gods. Oh, you don't. That's going to require a very long conversation, Sir Wells and I don't think we have a have the time for it. Their lathitep has gone by many names and many faces, but it is all manifestations of the same horrible being. Yeah, he's not the only. One, I think we know maybe a little bit more than you do. I doubt. How about gentlemen? Look, the gentlemen Catholic Church has been dealing with this. Sort of OK, I just OK, I just full on stand between them and I'm just. Going for the catacombs I go. Gentlemen, I appreciate, I appreciate that everything has to be a pissing contest, but how about we survive this night and then we'll talk about it? OK, he's probably not going to give you the holy water now, because apparently you don't need it. Motherfucker doesn't know what he's talking about. Reg Can you learn the spell right now or no? It will take some time, but while people are getting loaded and ready to go, I'll say that you could learn it pretty quickly.

51:30 So yeah, Reg just basically kind of waves at K as he's reading through this and just mutters. I'm kind of in the process of trying to memorize it right now. Rude. Hard to concentrate. No. Am I supposed to know which way N is? I don't have a compass. Nobody ever said saving the world was easy. Or your friends. Yeah, yeah. Although there might be an easier way to destroy a mouth. Exactly. Fire. How many? Yeah. What are we talking? There are are these there gasoline. Any other flammable substances? Matches. He does not have gasoline, no. What does he have?

52:12 Let me see. Kerosene. Grenade. Acetone, in the immortal words of Captain Holt. That's interesting. You know what else is interesting? Grenades. Fucking alcohol. I guess you know what, I guess you could make some molotovs here. All right, yeah, I should probably do that. I don't even know how to use the shotgun. Reg is literally not giving any of his alcohol up for this endeavor. There you go. I don't think Molotovs are Kay's style necessarily. I'm I'm all about like pouring stuff just all over the thing and just poof, flambe. Well, so where's my list of all my weapons and stuff?

52:53 Here's the thing, you have three hand grenades and a bundle of dynamite. I'll take the dynamite. The bundle of dynamite is the most dangerous thing that you have at point blank range. It does 7 damage plus what you roll. OK. And what about the grenade? That is 3 damage. Plus roll I'm assuming? Yeah, plus what you roll. And they're all in your backpack already. And if you would like weapons, he has a couple of shotguns. He has a Thompson gun. What's a Thompson gun? I think Red is going to grab a shotgun. He's only got pistols at the moment. Colin doesn't have a backpack, so he's just holding this thing like a loaf of bread. Oh, just get the bundle of dynamite you're just holding carefully.

53:43 Yep. Well, I've got a magic purse from which my 10 points in preparedness comes from. What kind of stuff in there? 10 points in preparedness. I do have 10 points in preparedness, yes. Well, you I guess you could put a grenade in there. Oh, is there a flamethrower please? Ki don't think he would have a flamethrower, but if you could make me a preparedness role. Yes, how much do I need to spend this? Is going to be a difficulty 6 I'm. Going to spend. 4 So if you spend five points, you just get the flamethrower. And we know you have 10. I do have 10, don't I?

54:29 Do I want to leave it up to chance or do I really want a fucking flamethrower? It's gonna be awkward to carry through the tunnels, but. Question for the GM, what kind of shotgun is? That. I'm so sorry. 5 on the die. The OK then you absolutely have a fucking flamethrower God. Damn, I spent a four. I spent a four. I rolled A5. I have a fucking. Flamethrower. Got a flamethrower? So 9 This is a flamethrower from the future. They used flamethrowers in World War. One. Yeah, they did. Yeah, but this one's from the future. This one's from the future. OK, great. No, it's not. You have a The shotgun you have is a Remington 12 gauge shotgun.

55:14 So the M32, that's nice cuz that's a heavy so I can basically just use the. It could do a lot of damage. It only has two bullets though. That's like you'll have to reload after you fire. That's that's perfectly fine, but basically I can use the same damage calculation that I use for my Colt 1911. Daniel what kind of damage does a flame thrower do? I'm trying to figure that out. We're going to save the shit out of you JP. This. Is. Awesome. You're going to get rescued or you're going to be attempted to be rescued.

56:00 I have absolute faith in my friends and the amount of firepower they are now packing. All right, hold this while I untie you just. Leaking nitroglycerin. Hang on, hang on. Can I just say as far as spa days goes, this is amazing. I want to see a shot of what all of you look like as we're doing the slow motion walk towards the rescue operation. One SEC I'm just going to Google what a 1930s flamethrower looks like. Holy hell. It's going to be hard to fit through the fucking tunnels. I had bigger than Kay, so I think I'm going for intimidating, but I I probably look like a kindergartner with like one of those backpacks that's bigger than them. But yeah, I am.

56:55 I am determined to save my friend. OK. Colin Cain's illuminated from the back. All this exercise recently seems to be paying off. Looks a little slimmer and a little bit heroic with the light shining behind him like that. He's got the bundle of dynamite under one arm. He puts a cigarette in his mouth, pulls out his later thinks. Better of it. And what about Reggie? Reggie, you see resting the shotgun on his right shoulder, walking along and carrying a flashlight and shining it ahead and just kind of walking nonchalantly with a double barrel shotgun.

57:35 Gotcha. All right. From that, we cut back to JBJB. You were not unconscious in that side room. In that hotel, you take 3 wounds. Yeah, that makes sense. And you look out and you are in a little office that is raised up above the work floor. You look out a window and you see there's maybe 15 or so folks that are loading bottles of presumably nectar. And they are getting ready to move it somewhere. You're actually sort of looking out, You see, like, oh, they're moving a lot of nectar.

58:16 It seems like they were storing it here, but right now they are moving it. You are tied to a chair. I figured that somehow. There was a woman sitting in the office as you awaken. I kind of half awake mumble. It's only polite to ask a lady's name when you're meeting her for the first time. You're so clever. You're so. Funny, I try. What did you think was going to happen here? How did you think this was going to go? You had Donovan and you let him go and just took a day off.

59:04 If you or the threat that I have been hearing about, you have been grossly exaggerated, What did you think you were just going to take a spa day or something? Preaching to the choir, Sister. I didn't think it was the best of plans, but we've had a pretty stressful week thanks to you and your ilk. Yes, yes. Well, it's your lucky day. Two things. One, well, I know some of my associates say that you should be sacrificed to the mouth. I know that you mean nothing to me, but that would get me nothing.

59:52 But have you ever had Nectar before? Put it in your mouth AP. I don't like where this is going. Because we we have a new strain and it's so hard to find folks that are brand new to it. So you, my friend, are actually going to be having a really enjoyable bit. With that, she pulls out a bottle of presumably nectar. You see the glowing and yes, you realize in the darkness it is glowing just a little bit of this yellow liquid. While I'm still lucid and before you pour whatever that shit is down my throat, I want you to know something. Go fuck yourself.

1:00:46 She pours Vector down your throat. Cough as you might, she grabs your face, holds your nose and forces it down. Thanks for listening. Daniel was our Trail of Cthulhu GM, Nathan was JB Faulk, Renee was K Morgan, Damian played Reginald Killworth, and Russell was Colin Kane. In addition to mixing, mastering and music in the episode, a cover art is by Trinity the T Tab Witch and our main theme is by Claire LW. Special thanks to Matt from the Crows Codex for reading our intro this episode. If you'd like to get in touch, you can find links to our socials on our link tree or write us an e-mail at dansdreadtails@gmail.com.

1:01:33 An e-mail we've had this whole time and never once thought to advertise. We're coming up on a new leg of the campaign, and you know what that means? We'll need more intros. We've done the cast and guest intro so far, and for the next leg we're going to open it up to listener submissions. If you'd like to participate, head on over to the Discord. Again, thanks for listening and until next time, put it in your mouth JB.